Accepting Limitation

My eyes have not been 20/20 since I was 17. And for years, I struggled to make sharp pictures while always getting inspired by photographers who made soft, blurry pictures like Julia Margaret Cameron, Sarah Moon, and the like. I realized now that the less I struggle, the happier I am. Other photographers have large format cameras to do their work. I have Lensbaby to thank. I now can make pictures the way I really see. I no longer need to strife to make things sharp in my pictures because that's just not how I see things in real life anyway.

Machu Picchu

This may sound strange, but Machu Picchu was never on my list of places to visit. But, toward the end of last year, one friend after another mentioned South America, more specifically Peru to me. Being curious and helpful, I started doing research for one of those friends who wanted to go. In the process, I found an opportunity to be in Peru volunteering for women and children. All of a sudden, everything comes together for me. Why wouldn't I go to work with disadvantaged women and children, visit a country known for its amazing woven textile (one of my passions) and see one of the Wonders of the World. I could even afford it! So I decided that a trip to Peru would be my way to welcome 2010.

What's more?  I found ways to avoid as much hiking as possible. I got to Machu Picchu by taking a communal taxi (4 people sharing a car) from Cusco to Ollantaytambo, followed by a train to Aguas Calientes, followed by a bus to the bottom of Machu Picchu, then less than half hour walking uphill.

As suggested by many guidebooks, I planned to get there early for the sunrise. I ended up slightly disappointed when I woke up at 5 a.m., seeing rain outside my hotel window. Summoning my knowledge of the buddhist practice, I eased into accepting the possible fact that I won't get the sunrise photos I wanted. So I made a deal with God (as if I can) and asked him to make me see the right pictures when I get there.

As the bus climbed up closer to the entrance, the clouds got thicker. I started seeing mountains wrapped up in a veil of mists that goes in and out, and I realized how much I love watching the changing scenery. It reminds me of those highly produced films where they use fog machines, except no man was involved in this production.

Once I started the mini-hike, really slowly, the amazement never ceased. It really was fascinating. I turned down offers to follow a guide. I wasn't there to study history. I was there to be amazed by what is. I didn't need to be inundated by informations, I just wanted to be. I mostly kept to myself even though I went with a group, taking my time to photograph the scenes the way I want to remember it (dark, bluish, mistycal, quiet), and grateful that I made the decision to be there.

New Adventure

I am flying off to Peru today. I have not been this brave in a while, but I feel a new me emerging toward the end of last year. I decided that with the New Year, I will start to listen to a new set of guidance system, one that is not based on logical calculations but more on faith in miracles because I want to see the world as a magical place full of wonders.

I've always like the idea of unlimited possibilities, and now I am out to live it in this world. Being super practical, I have to confess that a big part of me is anxious and worried, but I am starting to like the idea of letting go of control and be a person who is present in every moment.

I'll keep you posted on how this goes.

Updates

• I am no longer working at Sugar Paper. I really appreciated my time there. I learned so much about the world of paper and letterpress.
• I now give Indonesian language lessons privately and in small-groups.
• I am also participating in the creation of a game-based language and cultural learning tool as the Indonesian Subject-Matter Expert.
• I am also taking a calligraphy class taught by the kind and amazing Carrie Imai.

It's almost that time again

It's been nine months since I last posted on this blog. A lot have happened since. Last September, I started working as production manager at the company I worked for the year before. I love what I do there, which is engaging both sides of my brain. I get to do artsy crafty things, and at the same time, I have to be super organized in order to meet deadlines. This company, Sugar Paper, is the perfect thing for me right now. I love their high quality products, the casual work environment, and also how close it is to where I live. I also love our darling neighbor Clementine and their yummy food. I feel well taken care of.

I work at the Century City design office, but here are a couple of photos I took of the store in Brentwood Country Mart:

Other than that, I've been assisting my husband with his photography teaching at UCLA Extension and Samy's Camera. We are now getting ready to go back to Bali to visit my family and do our second photo workshop. We have three guests so far. I am very excited!

Here are images of our previous workshop participants in action:




Don't you want to be there too?

Leaving tonight

I am excited to be leaving for Bali tonight. I can't wait to see my loved ones and meet with new friends. Every visit so far has been blessed with new experience, new faces, and new ideas. I am looking forward to see what will unfold this time. While there, I will be co-leading a photo workshop with my husband during the festivals of Galungan and Kuningan, and creating new work for myself.

Eat, Pray, Love

I attended a reading and book-signing event by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, yesterday at Diesel bookstore in Malibu .
She was insightful and entertaining. Quite a few people asked her about Bali and the Balinese she mentioned in her book: Ketut Liyer, Wayan and Tutti. Apparently, they are doing much better now that they have been visited by many people who have read their stories. I have seen the hardship experienced by most Balinese since the bombings of 2002 and 2003, and I admire what Liz has directly and indirectly done for these people. She proved that we are all connected and can help in our own way.

Liz wrote a short note to Wayan and Tutti for me to pass a long. I am planning to deliver the note this coming Saturday and have some of Wayan's "multi-vitamin" lunch while I'm there. For those of you who don't know what I'm taking about, I hope you'll read the book and visit Bali to see them too.